It Happened This Week-ish: The Speidi divorce, Laurence Fishburne’s daughter does porn, Idol loses Ellen, Lindsay Lohan’s hair goes to jail and Joshua Jackson’s Pacey-Con

That picture to the right is Mischa Barton? Really? What happened since The O.C. and when did she turn into a harajuku version of Gwyneth Paltrow?
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have taken advantage of our televisions, our tabloids, Heidi’s body and now the California court system in order to gain more attention, fame and money. This divorce is about as real as Heidi’s chin. (Betcha thought I was gonna say boobs, but I didn’t because I am all class.)
Do you ever read something and imagine the brain cells in someone actually being washed away? How about this quote from Laurence Fishburne’s daughter, Montana, regarding her decision to start her career with a self-titled porn: “I view making this movie as an important first step in my career, I’ve watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape by Vivid. I’m hoping the same magic will work for me. I’m impatient about getting well-known and having more opportunities and this seemed like a great way to get started on it.” I can just see a creepmeister producer sitting behind his desk, wearing a polyester suit with a shiny shirt unbuttoned asking her if she wants to be like a Kardashian.
After the jump, Idol shake-ups, a Lilo hair extension update and Pacey-con 2010…
American Idol judges are dropping like the crazies during Hollywood week! With Simon Cowell and Ellen Degeneres now separating themselves from their Coca-Cola glasses, who will tell these hopeful fame-whores that that lack, ya know, “talent”? Maybe Jennifer Lopez. She made Gigli, so I guess she is into obviously sinking ships.
Have you been super-stressed about this whole hair extensions debacle? I certainly have been losing sleep but E! has solved the mystery and given me a gift better than a bottle of Lunesta. Lindsay Lohan was allowed to keep her weave in jail because of the glue and weaving attachment to her scalp, had it been a clip or wig, she would’ve been both jailed and bald (the worst ev.ar.). Lesson learned? Glue that shiz in, ladies.
I have started a fund to attend Pacey-con next year. Feel free to bring me any loose change/large sums of cash, gift me your frequent flyer miles or simply share my love of “the greatest character in television history. Ever. Period” let me know if you are willing to throw in on a hotel room. Pacey Witter will be mine, finally.