"To make it here you have to watch what you say and watch what you do." It sounds boring, but The Real Housewives of DC are working overtime to make sure you don't give up on their show. This season of Top Chef certainly hasn't helped DC's television reputation, but we'll see what these five Housewives can do. Let's meet them!
Mary is the daughter of a lobbyist and her family photo shoot with the white shirts and jeans made me gag. Something about her family creeps me out; maybe it's that they all have sugar eyes, or that she and her daughter look almost identical.
I already like Stacie. She's proud to be a "Washingtonian" and to live in "the chocolate city." She seems smart, reasonable, hard working, and less pretentious than a lot of the other Housewives. You have to respect her.
Lynda runs a modeling agency and has a face that is scary like Ramona's or Danielle's. She also reminds me of that lady who oversees the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders (for all you CMT fans out there). Lynda has the fattest pug ever, and has surrounded herself with young people (be they children, assistants, or boyfriends). Her model boyfriend is a young, "6'5" fabulous bonus" named Ebong.
Michaele is totally the crazy one, isn't she? She's got the trophy wife thing down (have you seen her husband? He looks . . . like he has a lot of money). She lives out of hotels and LOVES IT. * collective groan *
Cat is British, so she could probably teach us Americans a thing or two about class, raising our children, raising our pets, keeping thin, you name it. Just ask her! Her kids' accents are charming and she's married to a famous White House photographer so they're doing well for themselves. She's writing a book called "Inbox Full" about her life. Look for it when you get tired of staring directly into the sun.
First on the social agenda is a high-end polo match. Look out, world, Michaele's a hugger! Lynda just said "no" to America's Polo Cup, and has "no desire to be associated with that little goat rodeo." You're growing on me, Lynda! Cat shows up to the little goat rodeo and Michaele makes her PINKY SWEAR that they'll go horseback riding together. Then they swapped stickers, pogs, and juicy secrets. Cat was not impressed with this American polo match. Bring it on, British Biatch.
Lynda, Ebong, and Mary plan Mary's birthday party and decide to invite Stacie, and Cat because they like her accent. Michaele is not on the list, however, because she is obviously the crazy one who everyone hates. On the night of her party, Mary has a change of heart and gives Michaele a call to see if she can come to the party last minute. Usually that works to keep people away but social cues might not be Michaele's strong suit.
Did anyone else notice how Mary put on kind of a weird fake British accent when she was talking to Cat?? I hope that keeps happening. Also, Mary always calls Stacie "girl" or "girlfriend." I'm onto you, Mary! Michaele talks about going to the White House dinner she is infamous for crashing. Then, in an even better moment, Mary gets drunk and accidentally racist. She starts talking to Stacie and Ted Gibson about integration of salons, what with "this new administration." Integrate the salons?!
At Stacie's at-home celebrity chef cooking class, the girls ask Cat about her life or, as Mary put it, "how'd you land that rock star?" Cat's husband is close with President Obama so she clearly considers herself out of everyone else's league. In an "uh oh" moment, Cat takes Tyra's name in vain in front of Stacie. Then she did a terrible (and borderline offensive) impression. It all goes downhill from there, ending with Cat implying that George W. Bush was a better president than Obama. Where does she get off? She did NOT just say that in a room full of black people and Mary, who thinks she's black sometimes! They're starting to turn on Cat already . . .
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