Wednesday, August 4, 2010

JUSTIN BIEBER TAKES ESTROGEN, HAS BREASTS





Justin Bieber takes estrogen pills’ so that he can avoid puberty and retain the sweet, pop sound of his voice.   He also wants to keep his current singing range.  The Biebz has been on estrogen since last November and was hiding the fact that he was growing breasts.  “We were duct-taping his chest every day, so that nobody would notice his breasts, particularly the big nipples he has.  Man, I love his nipples,” said Bieber’s manager Scooter Braun.

There have been many rumors on the internet about Bieber.  People say that Bieber:

1)  smokes pot

2)  has syphilis

3) is seeing Megan Fox

4) French-kissed a Canadian goose

5) punched Chuck Norris in the groin

6) has only one testicle

7) is dead

 is a Hobbit

9) is from Planet Zeeba

10) is Barack Obama’s son

ALL of these rumors are false, though they may be true to some degree.

But WWN has learned that Bieber, who was just nominated for a VMA award, has been taking estrogen pills for the last year and now has fully developed.  The picture above was taken by WWN crack photographer, Moses Blue.  It clearly shows that Bieber not only has breasts, but that he’s not ashamed to flaunt them.

R&B star, Usher, and rapper Ludacris have both been seen sucking on Bieber’s breasts.  “Man, that white boy has some fine tasting titties,” Ludacris told WWN.   “They taste like money,” said Usher.  Bieber proudly pointed out that there have been times when Usher and Ludacris have sucked on his breasts at the same time.  Bieber likes it when they do that.  Or does he?  He said, “Baby, baby, ohhh… like baby, baby no.”

Bieber’s concert in Orland last night was delayed for an hour because Bieber was having too much fun backstage squeezing his virgin breasts.  “Snap, I just learned it was national breast-feeding week and I think it’s so totally cool that I can breast-feed myself now,”  Bieber said.  “That’s tight.”

Bieber is talking to Playboy about appearing in the magazine, but he’s just going topless.   Scooter Braun dashed the hopes of many Beiber-maniacs when he said that the Playboy half-spread won’t be happening anytime soon.   “It will have to be after he’s 18 or when he’s a 36DD – whichever comes first.”

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